Sometimes I think we zebras are cursed. Us Oreos or as the correct term is....Mulattos. Where do we fit in? Are we white? Black? Maybe we are grey. Doesn't white and black make grey? Yes it does, and sometimes I think a grey cloud hovers over us. It is easier for a guy. You can always be a homie. But them sistas are always thinking you are after their man. Their men are always acting the fool and showing off in front of their homies and saying smart remarks like "I'd like a little piece of that suga there" "Was sup shoddy?" "You goin wit him? Let me show you what a REAL man is like" etc etc.
This little bit of brown suga is tired of it. I would like to find someone to love me for myself, who I am and not a status symbol. I would like the sistas to be my friends, I am not a threat to them. I have tried not to show my feelings. Said screw them if the can't like me as a friend who needs them.
I remember my senior year. I, Island Princess had the first fight of the year. I knew most of the sistas didn't like me and I had had problems all through middle school and high school.
It was the third day of my senior year and this girl walks up to me and starts cursing me out and putting her hand in my face. She went for my hair and started pulling it. I said "just leave me alone and started to walk away." She called me a bitch and proceeded to follow me. I tried to ignore her but I had had enough of her and all her gal friends throughout numerous school years. I dropped my books and proceeded to whoop her butt. We both got suspended for three days. I was a straight "A" student and my mom cried for days thinking I had messed up my record. Even with all the problems in school, not knowing who my real friends were at times, I maintained a 4.0 average and graduated a board scholar and with honors.
Why I am remembering all this tonight is because today I received a call from my old high school. The assistant principal was calling. He asked for my mom. She wasn't home and so he told me my little sister Aimee had been in a fight. Both her and the girl were suspended for three days and would have to attend Saturday school if they want to make up for the suspended days. He told me if I couldn't come to pick her up he would have to call the police and have her incarcerated. I franticly called my friend Ginny and we both rushed to our old alma mater to rescue AIMEE. She looked so little and pitiful sitting in the principals office. She had a cut under her right eye and had lost one of her earrings. It seemed this girl and her friends don't like Aimee and she accosted her and her friend in the hall. She called her a hoe and a bitch and started elbowing her in the stomach. Aimee has a short temper in the first place and so she put her book bag down and fought back.
Seeing my little sister in the office reminded me of my senior year. All the memories and emotions came flooding back to me. It got me thinking, why does this happen? Are we not good enough? Are we not black or white? Are we not a human being? We have feelings...we hurt. we cry. We could be your best friend, but I guess you want to be our worst enemy. I AM good enough, we are good enough. We are no better or no less then you are. We are all human beings. There is prejudice amongst all peoples and for this I am saddened. I myself am ashamed to be called a human being for we are not humane.
Copyright © 1999 Island Princess....All Rights Reserved
Update on this reflection I wrote in 1999....My little sister had two encounters with a girl this past school year. It seems this little girl was jealous of my sister because she liked the same boy Aimee goes with. Even though he told her he liked Aimee this girl still harassed and taunted Aimee all year.
Midi Playing...."Everybody Hurts by REM"
This butterfly will take you back to the index
